In recent months, we’ve been exploring the vital topic of executive function: what it means, why it’s essential for children, and how parents can play a key role in supporting their children with ADHD to build these important skills. One question we frequently hear from parents is, “How can I tell which executive function skills are suitable for my child at their current age?” This is an excellent question! It’s common for parents to fall into one of two traps: either they expect too much from their child or, conversely, they believe their child is incapable of completing tasks on their own. Both scenarios can be problematic. In some cases, parents might "over-help," unintentionally causing their children to become more dependent instead of promoting their growth. Of course, that’s not the outcome you want to achieve!

To help you get a clearer picture of where your child might be in their developmental journey, we’ve put together some practical insights on what you can generally expect at various ages. Before we dive into the specifics, it’s crucial to keep in mind that every child is unique! Executive function skills don’t develop in a one-size-fits-all manner—each child progresses at their own pace. So, if your child isn't quite ready for the typical “age-appropriate” skills, don't be concerned! Simply adjust your expectations and support them where they currently are. Remember, development is a journey, not a race. For skills that span over a broader range of ages (such as 6-11 years old), understand that these abilities are developing gradually, and not all children within that range will demonstrate the same level of skill.

Now, let’s begin! Here’s an expanded guide to how executive function skills generally evolve, starting with the youngest of children and continuing through to the teen years and beyond:

Infants (6-12 months)

Even though babies are still so young, they are already making impressive strides in developing executive function skills! It's truly remarkable how quickly an infant can go from crying to calm once comforted by a familiar caregiver—a sign of the beginning of emotional regulation. At this stage, babies are not yet able to self-soothe, so they depend on trusted adults to help them manage their feelings. This reliance on caregivers marks the early stages of emotional control, a critical executive function skill.

In addition to emotional regulation, babies at this age are also developing their working memory. They start to recognize familiar faces, such as those of their parents, siblings, and close relatives. They may even show preferences for certain toys or activities, signaling early memory capabilities. As they begin tracking objects with their eyes or intently watching your face while you sing songs or recite rhymes, they are honing their attention span. These small yet significant milestones are the foundational building blocks of executive function, setting the stage for more complex skills as they continue to grow and develop.

Engaging Activities for 6-12 Month Olds

Providing age-appropriate tasks for 6-12 month old babies supports their budding executive function skills and fosters healthy growth. Here are some excellent activities tailored for this developmental stage:

• Participating in Feeding Routines
  Feeding time is another valuable opportunity for development. Whether through self-feeding or parent-led approaches, encourage babies to actively engage in the process. This includes turning their heads toward food, reaching for preferred items, and beginning to experiment with holding utensils. These actions enhance coordination and foster independence.

• Exploring Cause and Effect
  Around this age, babies begin to understand that their actions can influence their surroundings. This is a great time to introduce toys like rattles, bells, or objects that produce sounds when shaken. Babies also enjoy interactive toys such as pop-up mechanisms or gear spinners that move or make noise when manipulated. These activities encourage curiosity and early problem-solving skills.

• Playing Peek-A-Boo
  Peek-A-Boo is not just a fun game; it also helps babies develop attention and the ability to anticipate outcomes. By focusing on your face and expecting what will happen next, they begin to grasp routines. Additionally, this interactive play helps babies recognize and respond to emotions, as they watch your facial expressions and learn to imitate joy, surprise, or calmness.

By introducing these engaging and age-appropriate activities, you provide 6-12 month old babies with opportunities to explore their world, strengthen essential cognitive skills, and build connections with their caregivers. These small steps lay the groundwork for continued learning and growth.

Young Toddlers (1-2 years)

Toddlers are naturally curious and bursting with energy! At this stage, they are exploring the world around them, soaking up new experiences, and learning primarily through play. As they interact with their environment and the people in it, toddlers begin developing essential executive function skills such as problem-solving (shift), expressing preferences, and managing their responses (inhibition). These skills are foundational but still very much in progress, which often leads to "big emotions" in response to minor challenges—a phase that can be both endearing and exhausting for parents.

For example, imagine preparing a special breakfast for your toddler, like waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, expecting them to be thrilled. Instead, they might burst into tears, declaring it "yucky." With no alternative meal options, this reaction could turn into a prolonged meltdown. This type of outburst reflects their ongoing struggle with emotional regulation—a skill that’s still developing at this age. While such moments can be frustrating, they are entirely normal and part of the growth process as toddlers learn to manage disappointment and navigate their feelings.

Although these episodes can feel overwhelming in the moment, they serve as opportunities for toddlers to practice handling emotions and learning from experiences. The seemingly chaotic toddler years are a critical period for developing the foundational executive function skills they will continue to refine throughout their childhood.

Activities for toddlers in the 1-2 year range include:

Engaging toddlers in age-appropriate tasks helps them practice emerging executive function skills while building confidence and independence. Here are a few suitable activities for toddlers at this stage:

• Following One- or Two-Step Instructions
  Provide toddlers with clear, simple instructions for routine tasks. For example, ask them to “Go get your shoes” or “Pick out a book and sit on the couch.” Following these short directives reinforces attention and the ability to process and act on information.

• Simple Self-Care Tasks
  Encourage toddlers to participate in basic self-care routines like washing hands, brushing hair, or retrieving a diaper when it’s time for a change. These small, manageable tasks help build a sense of responsibility and self-reliance while fostering organization and memory skills.

• Exploring Books
  Looking at books and attending to pictures is another fantastic activity for toddlers. Reading to your child daily not only strengthens your bond but also enhances critical executive function skills like organization, attention, and emotional control. Point out pictures, ask questions, and encourage your toddler to engage with the story to make the experience interactive and beneficial.

• Imitation Games
  Toddlers are natural imitators, often mimicking the words, actions, and facial expressions of those around them. You can turn this instinct into a playful learning experience by imitating their movements or sounds in an exaggerated way. Once they notice, they’ll likely imitate you in return, creating a fun, interactive game that strengthens social and observational skills.

These activities provide toddlers with meaningful opportunities to practice skills that will serve as the foundation for future learning and growth. Through routine tasks and playful interactions, they gradually build the confidence and cognitive abilities they’ll need as they continue to develop.

Early Childhood (3-5 years)

The preschool years mark a period of remarkable development in executive function, especially in the realm of social interaction. Between ages 3 and 5, children begin mastering essential skills like negotiation, compromise, self-advocacy, and persuasion. Whether it's convincing a friend to play a particular game or standing firm on their preferences, preschoolers exhibit increasing persistence and determination. These years also see notable strides in emotional control and cognitive flexibility, as children learn to adapt to changing circumstances and regulate their feelings more effectively.

Preschoolers are also developing vital self-monitoring and inhibition skills, allowing them to follow group plans, take turns, and refrain from impulsive actions such as grabbing toys. While these skills are still works in progress, the growth in these areas sets the stage for smoother social interactions and greater independence.

One of the best opportunities to nurture these skills is through introducing structure and routine, as preschoolers thrive on knowing “the rules.” For instance, you can teach your child that certain items have designated places, like the hairbrush always going in the top bathroom drawer or jackets hanging on a specific hallway hook. Consistently reinforcing these organizational habits helps children internalize the concept of “everything has a place.” These routines not only promote order but also encourage independence and responsibility—valuable traits they will carry into the future.

Tasks ideal for children aged 3-5 years include:

Preschoolers are at an ideal stage to engage in activities that build independence and executive function skills. Here are some appropriate tasks that not only encourage growth but also help develop responsibility and problem-solving abilities:

• Simple Self-Care Routines
  Tasks like brushing teeth (with a quick parental “audit”), washing hands, and brushing hair allow children to practice self-care while following step-by-step processes.

• Tidying Up
  Encourage your child to put laundry into the hamper after changing clothes or return shoes and toys to their designated spots. These activities teach organization and help establish routine habits.

• Table Setting
  Setting the table with child-friendly dishes is an excellent way to develop executive function. The child imagines the final setup and works toward achieving that goal.

• Recognizing Emotions
  Teach empathy by helping your child identify and respond to emotions, such as comforting someone who is crying or reacting appropriately to someone yelling.

• Cooking Assistance
  Involve your child in age-appropriate cooking tasks like pouring or measuring ingredients. While the process is more important than the result, activities like cracking eggs or whisking can be fun and rewarding for kids. Be prepared for minor messes—it’s part of the learning experience!

• Visual Routines
  Introduce visual routines for challenging parts of the day, such as bedtime or morning preparations. Customizable visual aids can help preschoolers understand and follow expectations more easily.

These tasks not only foster independence but also provide valuable opportunities to practice essential executive function skills like planning, organization, and self-regulation.

Primary School Age (around 6-11 years)

At this stage, children are rapidly advancing their executive functions, especially those tied to academic tasks. As they dive into literature and explore school concepts, they use working memory to retain and apply new information, gradually expanding their knowledge base. Organization and planning skills become essential, as they start managing their personal belongings and completing school assignments on time. For longer projects or group activities, they develop the ability to initiate tasks, even when the motivation isn’t immediately present.

Children in this age group also begin to grasp the concept of time, learning to estimate how long different activities will take. On the social side, kids continue to refine emotional control and inhibition, which are critical for building successful relationships with others. To help them with emotional regulation, consider using relaxation or meditation tools that support emotional control.

Suitable activities for primary school-aged children are:

Elementary-aged children are at an excellent stage to take on more complex tasks that foster independence, organization, and self-regulation. Here are some appropriate activities that support executive function development and responsibility:

• Self-Care Independence
  Foster greater independence in self-care routines like showering, bathing, and dressing. You can support this development by using visual routines that guide them through each step, helping them gain confidence and autonomy.

• Homework and Project Management
  As children enter 1st grade and beyond, they can begin managing homework and school projects with some guidance. Using a calendar or planner helps them break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.

• Multi-Step Tasks
  Encourage your child to complete multi-step chores, such as cleaning their room, helping with yard work, or sorting laundry. These tasks teach organization and problem-solving.

• Flexibility and Adaptability
  Help your child develop flexibility by encouraging them to adjust to changing plans. This skill reduces the frequency of tantrums and enhances their ability to go with the flow in various situations.

• Gathering Materials for Activities
  Give your child the responsibility of gathering all the materials needed for an event or project, such as supplies for a soccer game or poster presentation. This helps them become more organized and prepared.

• Inhibition of Inappropriate Behaviors
  Encourage your child to practice self-control in social situations, such as raising their hand in class, using restroom breaks appropriately, and waiting their turn. These actions help build self-regulation and adherence to classroom expectations.

Adolescents (12-18 years)

During the middle school and high school years, adolescents are building their critical thinking skills and improving their ability to manage time and multiple priorities. They learn to balance competing demands from schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and social lives. They begin to understand different perspectives and develop the ability to manage complex situations. By middle school, students are expected to show greater self-regulation, following rules in various environments such as school, sports, and clubs.

As they progress through high school, planning and task-monitoring become essential as assignments and projects grow in length and complexity. Teens also develop the ability to set personal goals and take initiative to work toward achieving them. This stage is key for preparing for independence and honing the skills needed for future academic and career success.

Tasks appropriate for teenagers (12-18 years) are:

Middle and high school-aged children are transitioning into more independent roles, both academically and socially. The tasks appropriate for this age group help develop responsibility, critical thinking, and decision-making. Here are some tasks that support their growth:

• Risk Assessment and Decision Making
  As they near the end of this stage, teens typically show greater maturity in evaluating risks and making decisions. While they are less likely to engage in risky behavior than before, they may still struggle with understanding long-term consequences, which presents opportunities for guidance and support as they learn to navigate these situations.

• Independent Academic Work
  As academic expectations increase, middle and high school students need to manage their schoolwork independently. This requires the ability to plan, organize, and prioritize tasks, ensuring they stay on top of assignments and deadlines.

• Critical Thinking and Problem Solving
  Middle and high school students experience rapid growth in critical thinking. They start forming their own beliefs and worldviews, often distinct from their parents. Encouraging them to engage in discussions and evaluate different perspectives helps build their reasoning and decision-making skills.

• Schedule Awareness and Time Management
  At the early end of this stage, middle school students can begin to understand their schedules, such as knowing when their extracurricular activities, like Karate, take place. By high school, students can manage their schedules with minimal guidance, balancing school, work, and family commitments independently.

 

The Development Continues

Remember, the human brain takes about 25 years to fully develop. Even by 18 years, what we consider "adulthood," the brain continues to mature. The most notable developments occur in the frontal lobe, which is responsible for executive functions like decision-making, problem-solving, and impulse control.

We’d love to hear from you! What questions do you have about executive function? Our next blog post will be all about strategies you can use at home, so feel free to share your struggles with us—we’re here to help!

 

Conclusion

Executive function skills are critical for success, and their development varies across different age groups. Whether it’s emotional regulation in infants or organization and planning in school-aged children, these skills form the foundation for future independence and achievement. As parents and caregivers, your role in guiding your child through their developmental journey is crucial. By offering age-appropriate support and encouraging the practice of essential executive function skills, you can help your child build confidence and thrive in both academic and social environments.

It's important to remember that every child progresses at their own pace. If your child isn’t quite ready for certain skills, don’t worry! Adjust your expectations and focus on the areas where they currently are. With patience and consistent support, your child will continue to grow and develop these critical skills.

If you're ready to help your child unlock their full potential, consider reaching out to The Ladder Method. Our multi-step approach is designed to help children of all ages develop the executive functioning skills they need to succeed, both in the classroom and beyond.

 

FAQs

What are executive function skills, and why are they important?

Executive function skills include emotional regulation, memory, planning, and problem-solving. They are essential for managing tasks, controlling impulses, and adapting to new situations, making them crucial for success in school and life.

At what age should I expect my child to develop certain executive function skills?

Executive function skills develop gradually. For example, infants start learning emotional regulation, while toddlers begin developing problem-solving skills. Each child progresses at their own pace, so expect some variations.

How can I help my toddler develop executive function skills?

Engaging your toddler in simple activities like following instructions, practicing self-care, and playing interactive games can help nurture executive function skills. Positive reinforcement and routine also support their growth.

What should I do if my child is struggling with executive function skills?

Be patient and provide consistent support. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and encourage your child’s efforts. If needed, consider professional guidance from programs like The Ladder Method.

How can I promote my child’s independence while building executive function skills?

Start by assigning age-appropriate tasks that encourage independence, such as self-care routines, homework management, and organizing belongings. Celebrate small successes to build confidence.

 

Users Also Say

How Do Executive Functioning Skills Developed in Teen Years Impact Adult Life?

J***e D***-S***fi**d

The development of executive functioning skills during adolescence plays a crucial role in shaping future outcomes, including academic performance, relationship management, and the ability to meet deadlines. Executing tasks from start to finish is a key aspect of executive functioning. However, without actively engaging in new experiences that challenge and build these skills, it's difficult to develop them.

Executive function skills are not easily taught in isolation; they require ongoing support and structured guidance over time. The goal is to have consistent, effective support that leads to the creation of new neural connections.

Lacking strong executive functioning skills as an adult can have far-reaching consequences, affecting many aspects of life—ranging from difficulties in managing a household to struggling with maintaining long-term relationships and securing stable employment.

For many years, it was believed that brain development halted in the mid-twenties. However, research into neuroplasticity has revealed that the brain can continue to develop with sustained effort and consistency.

Are Gifted Children’s Executive Functions More Advanced Than Their Peers?

D**i*e O***

Many children identified as gifted exhibit exceptional cognitive abilities, often solving complex problems beyond the typical capacity for their age. These children may not necessarily work faster, but they can tackle more difficult tasks with ease.

However, these children aren't typically being assessed for giftedness. Instead, they are seeking help for specific challenges, such as underperformance in school or behavioral and emotional struggles, or a combination of both.

The root cause of these challenges often lies in the mismatch between their cognitive intelligence and their executive functioning skills—the systems that govern and coordinate thought processing and responses. A gifted child once described this mismatch perfectly: "It's like I have a Ferrari engine and a Fiat gearbox."

This raises the question: do gifted children simply have weaker executive functioning, or is there a deeper connection between the two? Research increasingly suggests the latter.

It's important to distinguish between two key ideas. One is that gifted children sometimes display behaviors that seem similar to ADHD (attention deficit and/or hyperactivity). This could be due to factors like boredom, intense focus on their interests, or a heightened curiosity about learning. While some gifted children might disengage due to boredom, the group in question here faces genuine executive functioning challenges, which can lead to ADHD-like symptoms.

Research has confirmed that gifted children often perform better than their non-gifted peers in many aspects of executive functioning. It would be surprising if this weren’t the case, as we expect cognitive and executive development to be somewhat aligned.

C***l H***g

Being gifted in a particular area doesn't necessarily translate to having strong executive functioning skills. It's entirely possible for someone to be exceptionally organized and efficient without being gifted in any specific domain—they’re simply smart and capable in managing tasks. On the other hand, even individuals with remarkable talents, like a math genius, may still struggle with executive functioning, just like anyone else.